A Murderer from the Beginning
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Easter Sunday, 1865, 1:30 P.M. Sheppard's Boardinghouse, Washington, D.C.
Customarily, I do not write on the Lord's Day, but this morning the Spirit of God prompted me to recount the events of a week that will change this nation's course forever.
The day that would undo the bindings on this bleeding nation finally arrived. I awoke from a troubled sleep, ate breakfast, and continued work on the Rebel Heart. At noon, Simon brought my lunch. On the tray stood an envelope. Simon smiled proudly. Inside was a theatre ticket for the play, My American Cousin and a note from President Lincoln requesting my attendance at Ford's Theatre on Friday evening. I wrote all afternoon with added vigor. Following dinner, I donned my Sunday best and prepared to leave for the theatre. As I stood before the mirror adjusting my tie, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the door to my room was ajar. Before the oddity had fully registered, I was walloped ferociously on the back of the head. I remember falling, watching the room skew sharply to one side. Sometime later I awoke slowly, dazed, confused, and tied to a chair. My head ached. It was dark outside. My watch rested on the nightstand in front of the mirror but I could not see its face. I waited for a few moments and allowed my throbbing head to clear. Who had done this deed? And why? In my mind's eye I replayed the scene. I was staring at myself in the mirror adjusting my tie, then the door ajar--yes, and for the briefest moment, a second image in the mirror: a jacketed arm and a white cuff with fancy cufflinks. Like a flash it came to me. The white cuff, the fancy cufflinks--they belonged to the man called Wilkes. The face and the name merged. John Wilkes Booth--a respected actor from Maryland who often played at Ford's Theatre. I had seen him at dinner just the night before! I had read about him and heard rumors that he was a Southern sympathizer and Lincoln-hater. Surely he was on his way to the same play as I, in his best attire. But why was I knocked out and tied up? Was it the letter? What had it said? "When you sink your well, go deep enough, don't fail; everything depends upon you and your helpers." The words came back to me then, just as they do now, without struggle. Was it an illicit oil deal? Or was it something more sinister? I prayed vehemently. "O God, if ever You've helped me, help me now!" My legs were tied to the bottom of the chair legs. I could not tap the floor with my boots. My mouth was bound with a handkerchief. There was only one hope--knock myself over onto the floor, and pray that the crash would arouse Mrs. Murray or Simon below. If my plan failed, I would be totally immobile. I rocked back and forth until I felt the front legs lift from the floor, then I threw my weight backwards. I fell like a cut tree. The jolt was severe and more painful than I had anticipated, while the bang of the chair against the oak floor generated less sound than I had hoped for. Minutes passed and no one responded. At last I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and a knock on the door. "Mr. MacDonald, is everything all right?" The voice belonged to Mrs. Murray. I yelled through the handkerchief; my cry was indistinct but loud enough to be heard. The door opened and she appeared. "Dear Lord, Mr. MacDonald, what happened?" She pulled the handkerchief from my mouth. I offered my explanation. She called for Simon; together they cut me loose. "Was a man by the name of John Wilkes Booth here early this evening?" I asked, rubbing my wrists. "Yes, Mr. Booth left with Mr. Payne about two hours ago. I believe they were going to the theatre." I grabbed my pocket watch from the table and read the time. It was 9:35 P.M. Instinctively, I reached into my knapsack and pulled out the Long Knife and attached the sheath to my belt. At the sight of the sword, Mrs. Murray put her hand over her mouth. Simon whistled. Ford's Theatre is only three blocks from Herndon House. I decided to leave Andrew Jackson in his stable and run. Breathing heavily, I turned a corner. My passage through a narrow alleyway was abruptly halted by a brawny Union soldier on horseback guzzling down his last swig of whiskey. He threw the bottle to the ground, shattering the glass. His horse bucked, but he fought it down with a sharp jerk on the reins. Then he reared his horse, backing me against the alley wall. The soldier slid from his saddle and lumbered toward me. His horse, snorting and kicking, galloped madly away down the alley toward 5th Ave. The horse's reaction paralyzed me. I could smell liquor on the soldier's breath as he grabbed my shirt. With one hand he lifted me from my feet and pressed my back against the brick wall. His eyes found the Long Knife on my belt. He yanked it from its sheath with his other hand, whipping it wildly in the air. I was dazzled by his strength--my toes didn't touch the ground. "I'm going to kill you, Sam MacDonald!" he snarled, his black eyes blazing. Shocked by the sound of my name, I could not reply. Yet he answered the question that darted through my mind as if I had just asked it. "I've known you from birth." He waved the tip of the Long Knife in front of my face. "You can't escape me, just as Will MacDonald could not escape. "I waged a war in the heavens over Kentucky, locked in bitter contests with the heavenly hosts--the cheled and the shinan, servants of El and his Son. I fought them for the right to make this sword shed blood." The soldier's fist tightened on my shirt. I feared for my life. I was not in the grasp of a drunken Northern soldier but a dark power from Hell itself. My heart grew faint, my arms and legs numb. I prayed. Unable to utter words aloud, I called upon God. No sooner had my heart whispered the name of Jesus than did the Holy Spirit rise up within me. "What is your name?" I asked, fighting for breath and focusing my thoughts on the grace of God. He sneered, turned his head to the side, stared at me out of the corners of his eyes, and cocked his brow. The dark spirit lowered me to the ground, my knees nearly buckling beneath me. "Your grandmother's offense to me shall cease here. The prophecy shall fail. Though I cannot have your soul, I will dispatch your flesh from this earth." He raised the Long Knife, circling it in front of my face. Grabbing my left wrist and slamming it against the wall, he jabbed the sword's point through my left palm. Blood trickled down my arm, turning my white shirt sleeve a dark red. My hand pulsated excruciatingly as he released his grip and brandished the Long Knife in front of my eyes once again. The soldier glanced at my bloody sleeve. His eyes grew wide. A diabolic grin blossomed on his face. "The sins of this land will never be purged away!" Grabbing my neck and firmly pressing my head against the wall with his right hand, he choked off my air. He raised the Long Knife toward my chest. As he did, I noticed the scar, a thin pink line running from the corner of his mouth to the corner of his eye. "Lord, I'm Yours," I prayed without breath. To my astonishment, the soldier's head jerked back, his grasp on my neck loosening. At that same moment, out of the corner of my right eye, I saw four Union soldiers running toward us from across the street. My attacker bellowed with an angry voice that was not his own. His brow tightened into grotesque fleshy folds as he drew back the sword. I heard a dull thud. The soldier toppled face-first into the street, the Long Knife slipping from his hand and landing by my feet. And there, a figure hovered in the air before me, like a replay of that moment in the cell with Beaumont. Only now, I could see the figure's eyes like deep-set rubies in a burning red mist. He hung motionless for a fleeting instant, hatred seething from his ghostlike form. Then he departed, leaving a gust of hot, putrid air in his wake. And lingering in my thoughts, like crimson wisps of smoke, was a name. Rasah. A voice calling my name dispelled the images from my mind. "Sam? Sam!" Before me stood an old friend. Holding the butt of a rifle in his left hand, the barrel in his right, Toby Sikes looked as stunned as I felt. Behind him stood three more Negro soldiers, laying their rifles aside and tending to the unconscious private who lay sprawled at my feet. I slid down the wall and sat on the ground next to my attacker. My left hand throbbed. "Seems like I'm always getting you outa some kinda mess, Sam. But this time I don't rightly know what kinda trouble I've saved you from!" Then he saw my hand. "Looks like you need a doctor--now." "Don't have time," I said. I picked up the Long Knife with my good hand and tried to stand. "Just hold it right there," Toby said, trying to push me back down. "You need to see a doctor." "Later," I said, sensing that Booth and the spirit's appearance were connected. I wasn't sure how, but I knew a murder was about to be committed. I feared the worst. "We've got to save the President." Three sets of eyes darted to mine, their faces registering shock as Toby pulled me up. I raced down the block to the side door of Ford's Theatre; Toby gave his men orders, then followed. Not knowing exactly where the President would be, I opened the door and saw a stairway that wound upward to the balcony. Laura Keene and her leading man stood facing each other on the stage. We raced up the stairs, only to find a closed door at the end a narrow hall. Toby pushed on the door. It would not open. Without warning, like some grim and fantastic nightmare, the spirit's scarred and hideous head protruded through the solid door! His face was an eerie, disembodied red mask, half human and half mist, his eyes filled with malice. Toby gasped and fell backward against the wall. From below, I heard a man call out, "It is now ten minutes after ten!" The spirit laughed mockingly and disappeared. Toby and I threw ourselves into the heavy door as a pistol shot rang out. We pushed open the door to the box seats adjacent to Lincoln's in time to see a man drop from the balcony to the stage below. It was Booth! Mrs. Lincoln screamed, "They've killed the President!" Her cry was followed by a man's frantic voice, "Stop him!" Booth ran across the stage and cried out, "sic semper tyrannis!" For the briefest moment there was complete silence, shattered by a woman's long, piercing scream. Mayhem broke loose on the floor of the theatre. As men surged to break down the locked door, my gaze was drawn to the stage. Standing behind Miss Keene was an old man in a tattered waist coat. He had raven hair and a nose like the beak of a bird. He lifted a hand and pointed at me. The hairs on my forearms and neck stood on end. My mind was barraged with hateful thoughts--vile, vindictive thoughts aimed at my faith, my belief in God. Men trying to get to Lincoln knocked me to the floor. I scrambled to my feet, but when I looked back to the stage, the old man was gone. I looked at Toby. He turned his head toward me, his eyes wide. President Lincoln died at 7:22 A.M. Saturday morning. Reports indicate that a single bullet entered the base of his neck three inches from his left ear and passed obliquely forward through his brain, lodging somewhere beneath his right eye. Washington City spent Saturday in sober reflection. For Toby it was a time of repentance and a personal reckoning with God for the rights to his soul. For me it was a day of tending to the wound in my hand and the wounds in my heart. Last evening I returned to Mrs. Sheppard's Boardinghouse. This morning Toby and I attended Easter services. The church building overflowed with saints who offered spiritless thanksgiving for the war's end, as they mourned their fallen leader. Communion was presented and I received the elements. O, how my heart wrestled with You, God. I have endeavored to keep my soul free from unforgiveness' hold! But its power has again nearly overwhelmed me! In my short lifetime I have danced with the sultry spirit of revenge, courted the loathsome whore called hatred, and nearly consummated my betrothal to a bride named bitterness. When these sins could not overtake me, the Devil sought to put me in the hangman's noose, twice, and then, even more directly, to slay me with Grandpa Will's Long Knife. Friday's encounter confirms that he seeks to defeat God's purposes revealed in the prophecy. O God, may I, and those who follow me, continue to be delivered fully from our darker nature, from evil men and from the Devil, himself. Outwardly, Washington's unfinished monument looks the same as it did that day when I opened my first journal upon my return from the Cowger's farm, nine springs ago. And yet, how utterly changed is the world outside my window! The sun sets this Easter Sunday. A chapter in my life--and in this nation's history--is closing as well. I stand at the edge of a new dawn. Angelina arrives the day after tomorrow, and I shall finally discover what it means to be a father. This is a time of new beginnings, a time for reconciliation, rebuilding, and healing. It is time for books to be written and sermons to be preached. It is time for God's Church, His Holy Bride, to repent and return to her first love. April whispers her cool evening breezes through my open window, gently brushing the curtain and comforting me. A cardinal flutters outside my window, swooping lazily across Pennsylvania Avenue. The dinner bell rings its final call; I must close this entry. Toby has already headed downstairs. This evening, of all evenings, I do not wish to be consigned to the kitchen as Mrs. Sheppard is still prone to do with those who think they can come late to her table.
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