Mary started down the stairs after Margaret. She was glad she couldn't see her sister's face. What had made her sister start crying like that?Sarah's shoes made muffled noises on the carpeted stairs behind them. Nobody spoke. When they reached the sitting room, Margaret stood back to let the younger girls go ahead of her.
Mama and Aunt Ellen sat next to each other. Aunt Ellen clutched a lace handkerchief in one hand. Her eyes looked red, too. Mama had her eyes closed and her head bowed. Uncle James stood behind them, with one hand on Aunt Ellen's shoulder.
As Margaret entered the room, Uncle James nodded to Papa. Papa nodded back, then stepped forward to meet them. He cleared his throat. He started to speak, then he stopped and looked over at Mama. She was still praying. He cleared his throat again, then spoke.
"Sit down, girls."
Mary sat without taking her eyes from his face. She wished he would say something. There was an awful feeling in her stomach. Surely, once Papa spoke, everything would be fine again. She held her breath as he cleared his throat once more.
"A letter came today, from Aunt Hilda, in Salem, North Carolina."
"Who?" Mary asked.
"You don't remember her, Mary," her father said softly, "but Margaret does."
Margaret nodded.
"She's Mama's other sister," Papa continued. "Three years before you were born, we went to her wedding. She lived in Pennsylvania then."
"I was seven," Margaret said, wiping her eyes. "I remember how pretty she was, in her beautiful white dress. And Jacob, her husband, had a big black beard that tickled when he hugged me."
Her voice wavered a little. She swallowed hard and then added, "I also remember that they loved each other very much."
Papa nodded. "They were very happy. And they were happier still when Jonathan was born."
"What happened?" Sarah blurted. "Why is everyone so sad?"
Nobody spoke for a minute. Then Mama, whose head was still bowed, whispered, "Even so, we thank Thee, Lord."
She opened her eyes and looked around the room at each of them. Her look had a quiet strength that comforted Mary.
Mama turned to Sarah. "It happened so fast. One day Jacob was full of good health. A week later, he was very, very sick."
Aunt Ellen shook her head. "He must have caught the fever in Philadelphia. He visited there so soon after last year's epidemic! Only a few survived that. . ."
Aunt Ellen's voice trailed off, but Mama finished for her. "Jacob, God rest his soul, did not."
"You mean, he's. . .dead?" As soon as she said the word, Sarah put her hand over her mouth.
"Yes! Oh, sweetie!" Aunt Ellen opened her arms as Sarah's tears burst forth again. Sarah ran to her and collapsed in a heap on the floor, her face buried in her mother's skirts.
"I can't bear it! This is such an awful day! Oh, somebody make it go away!"
Aunt Ellen's eyes glimmered with her own tears. She stroked Sarah's long blonde hair.
Mary looked at her cousin. She felt sorry for Sarah. But right now Mary's heart was hurting for someone else. For the aunt and the cousin she had never met.
And suddenly she started crying too.
"What will happen to Aunt Hilda and Jonathan? How will they live?" Mary asked through her tears. She couldn't imagine life without her own papa!
Papa smiled at her. But it wasn't a happy, fun smile. It was a very serious smile. It was as if his mouth smiled but his eyes were still sad.
"You feel that deep inside, don't you, little one?"
Mary nodded, mutely.
"That is from God. You are feeling His pain." He touched his chest. "I feel it too."
"They'll need a place to live," Uncle James said quietly. "They could stay here, with us, of course."
Aunt Ellen looked up, concerned. "James, you know that Hilda hates the big city."
"Perhaps it will be different now," Papa said. "But in any case, we must go to her."
He hesitated. "I also received another letter today."
Margaret looked up at him. "What, Papa?"
"A notice of a blacksmith's opening at the Shawnee Mission manual labor school, in the Kansas Territory." He took a deep breath. "I shall have to let that one pass, now, of course."
"Of course." Mama took his hand and squeezed it. "And I know God will provide another one."
"We'll all go," Uncle James boomed. Having something he could do seemed to raise his spirits. "We'll help her decide."
Aunt Ellen didn't say a word. Mary wasn't sure she even heard her husband. She was still comforting Sarah, who sobbed and sobbed on her lap.
"I told Mama to pack all my dresses," Sarah announced, as she came out of the house the next day. "If we have to leave New York City, at least we can take our nice things along."
She plopped down on the steps beside Mary. 
"I wish the sun would come out. It's cold," she complained.
Down the steps, and past the two lions, chests and crates lay scattered along the walkway. Both families were packing. Soon both families would be leaving for Salem.
"Oh," Mary said, without really listening. She wasn't thinking about clothes. She was thinking about how it must feel to lose a father. She still felt that deep ache in her heart.
And although she knew it was silly, she kept wanting to go find Papa. Just to make sure he was still there.
Sarah poked Mary in the side, startling her. "It'll be okay, Mary. It's just a little longer trip for you. And now I'm coming along. We'll have fun."
Mary looked at her and frowned. What was Sarah talking about? Fun? She shook her head. She couldn't deal with fun right now.
Sarah nudged her again, "Well, won't we?"
Mary turned away without answering. Then she heard a polite cough. 
She looked up, and saw Robert coming along the walkway.
He nodded to her. "Hello, Mary. Sarah." He rubbed his knuckles with the palm of his other hand. His eyebrows drew downward and he chewed his lip. Finally he spoke again.
"I see you're packing," he said, gesturing toward the crates.
Sarah answered first. "Yeah, and we're leaving here tomorrow!" She tossed her head.
Mary just nodded sadly.
Robert frowned a little at Sarah, then turned to Mary.
"My father told me what happened. I just want to say that. . . well, I'm really sorry. And, I know how you must feel."
She considered him for a moment. "How do you know what I feel?" she asked, curiously.
"I used to have an uncle," he answered. "He lived here in New York. He was my only uncle. But if I'd had ten others, he would still have been my favorite!"
He stopped and swallowed hard.
"And?" Sarah prodded.
Mary frowned at her.
"And then there was an accident," Robert said, simply. He stopped. His eyes had a faraway look.
"Did he have a family?" Mary asked, softly.
Robert blinked and looked back at her. "Yes. A wife and three children. And for weeks after that, I stayed really close to my father. It's silly, I know, but I was afraid I'd lose him too."
"Me too," Mary whispered.
Sarah face paled. "That scares me. Don't talk about that."
Mary stood and stepped down to the walkway, where Robert stood. "What did you do?"
"I poured it all out to my Father."
"Your father?" Sarah asked.
"I mean my heavenly Father," Robert explained. "I prayed."
"And then what?" Mary pressed. "I feel so bad for Aunt Hilda, and for Jonathan."
"I prayed for my aunt and cousins too. My uncle's death was a big shock. They needed prayer."
He paused, then said thoughtfully. "Life's full of twists and turns, you know. You can't always guess which way it will turn out."
He continued, looking each girl in the eye, "Sometimes you just have to have faith."
Sarah was silent, still shaken.
Robert added, in a much softer voice, "Faith helps us see our way out of things that seem impossible."
"What was the way out?" Mary asked him, urgently. The question seemed important.
He paused again, remembering. "My aunt came to live with us for a while. She helped me feel better. And I guess, in a way, I helped her feel better, too. She knew how much I loved my uncle."
He smiled, "She got married again two years ago. They're all very happy. I still miss my uncle, but I know he's happy too."
Sarah's lower lip trembled. "I couldn't stand to lose my father! Oh, why did you ever bring that up?"
She stood up suddenly. "I'm going to go talk to Mama!" And she ran inside, slamming the big oak door.
Mary watched her go. Then she turned at Robert.
"Thank you for understanding," she said softly.
He smiled again. Then, raising his hand in a kind of half-wave, he walked away toward home.
Two wagons, fully loaded, bumped along the dirt road leading southwest across New Jersey. A barge had carried them across the Hudson River the day before, and now they were really on the way.
Mary sat on the buckboard of the Muhlenberg wagon, looking back the way they had come. Every time the wagon went over a bump, it jolted her.
From back here, she couldn't see Mama and Margaret. But she knew they were walking alongside the wagon, up toward the front. She could hear them. It was too cramped to ride inside, with all the crates and boxes. She glanced back inside and smiled. Edward lay sprawled out on a little bed Mama had made him out of a quilt. Papa clucked to their team of oxen from his seat up front.
Mary liked walking better than riding. It didn't hurt as much. But she had been walking all morning, and now she was tired and grateful for a place to sit.
Sarah's wagon followed along behind theirs. Uncle James had the reins, and Aunt Ellen had just ducked back inside the wagon. Their wagon was bigger, and much more comfortable. Sarah stayed inside, in the cozy nest her mother had fixed for her.
Aunt Ellen had done all sorts of things to make Sarah feel better. The day they were packing, when Sarah had run inside crying, she had taken her downtown for a sweet treat. Then she had fixed up those soft pillows inside the wagon. Just before they left, she had offered one last thing.
"I'm going to town to buy you a special surprise, sweetie!"
"What is it, Mama?" Sarah pouted.
"No, no. That would spoil the surprise! This is something for later. You'll see!"
So Sarah had to wait. As they made their way along the bumpy road, she kept pouting and sniffling, and her mother kept soothing her. And when Aunt Ellen went up front with Uncle James, Sarah often called her back for some little thing.
Mary was pretty sure that Sarah felt fine by now. After all, Sarah was the one who had taught her to be sad so she could get the music box.
The music box! With all that had happened, she had almost forgotten the music box.
She sighed wistfully. It would be so nice to have some music just now. If only she could turn that key and let it play for her! Mary felt lonely, all of a sudden. She closed her eyes quickly, but not quickly enough to keep a tear from squeezing out.
"Mama, where's Mary? I want to see Mary."
It was Sarah's voice calling out from the wagon behind them. Mary quickly wiped her eyes. In a few seconds, she knew, Aunt Ellen would be calling for her to hop down and come back to join them.
"I got her to tell me something about the surprise!" Sarah was whispering, and she had a smirk on her face.
"I thought you were sad," Mary said, leaning back on a pillow. She could not help but think how good the cushions felt after bouncing on the rough buckboard!
"I was, but only for Mama and Papa. You know how that works," Sarah answered with a wink. "Now listen! I just found out something really important! That's why I had Mama tell you to come back here."
"What?" Mary asked, feeling Sarah's excitement.
Sarah's eyes beamed. "They're going to give us a party!"
Mary bolted upright. She felt a tingle run across her arms and neck. "When?"
"Later," Sarah said. "Just before we get to Salem. But that's not the best part."
She leaned over and whispered in Mary's ear.
Mary's eyes got wide. "For me? She got something for me, too?"
Sarah folded her arms, leaned back on a pillow, and nodded smugly. "She didn't say what, but I think I know what it might be!"
"Oh!" Mary caught her breath. "Could it be. . .my music box?"
54K